You can teach an old dog new tricks!
A few days ago, I came across a quote by Glennon Doyle on the courage to be yourself: “Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.” I wrote the quote on a 3” x 5” index card, stuck it in my pocket, and shared it with a few family members who thought it was “profound.” It turned out to be the only reminder I needed to say “No” to something I knew would leave me disappointed. Whoever coined the phrase “you can’t teach old dog new tricks” didn’t know the transformative power of Gratitude. Let me explain.
Regularly reflecting on and acknowledging the things we are grateful for helps us to cultivate a sense of worthiness. As I've stated before, I'm a late bloomer when it comes to feeling worthy of nothing but the best. But now that I know better, I do better.
So, a couple of days after reading Doyle’s quote, I tested it while eating out with my daughter Mia at what had once been one of our favorite restaurants. The quality of service had declined, so we stopped going for a while, but Mia suggested we give it another try.
We entered the restaurant, were seated immediately, and placed our orders. When the waiter brought our dishes to the table, the shrimp piled high on charred peppers and onions sizzled in the cast iron skillet and had our mouths watering. So we picked up our forks, unwrapped our tortillas, and got ready to dig in. But there was a disappointing surprise - the fajitas were burnt.
We looked at each other, shaking our heads and wondering how the cook could burn such a simple dish and more importantly, why the waiter brought us it to us burnt. Could he not smell? We were hungry so we began picking through the skillet to see what we could salvage, managing to fill up one tortilla. We ate some of the beans and rice, which, thank goodness, were on a separate plate, but the disgusting stench of burnt food had ruined our appetites. We finally gave up.
When the waiter came by to ask if everything was ok, we told him we were disappointed. He suggested that we left the food in the skillet too long. “We left it in the skillet too long? Didn't you mean the cook left it in the skillet too long?," I said to myself, but I kept my mouth closed since Mia was the one paying. Besides, I knew anything I said would have been too much, so the best thing to do was say nothing. It was time to leave.
Mia asked me if I had the tip. I'm a good tipper for two reasons: I've waited tables, so I know it’s hard work with minimal compensation, and secondly, I never want to be stereotyped as a Black person who doesn’t tip, so I always leave something on the table. But this time, I looked at Mia and said, "NO."
Would the waiter be disappointed? Probably so. But I didn’t give a flip. He couldn’t be any more disappointed than I was with burnt food, with him speaking to us as if we were idiots, and the fact that we were leaving the restaurant hungry. So, I would not further disappoint myself by leaving a tip. Nope, this old dog had learned a new trick, and I walked out of that restaurant (for the last time) feeling proud of myself. No more tipping just for the sake of tipping.
Learning when to say “No” is as essential to our well-being as the ABCs are to reading, writing, and Gratitude, so if you have disappointing habits you want to break, let Gratitude teach you.
If you need help getting started, contact me at smallchange@tmyrtlerussell.com.
Comments