A critical but often overlooked aspect of Self-care is communicating clearly with yourself and others. It means saying what you mean and meaning what you say. It enhances relationships, reinforces self-worth, and improves and sustains mental and physical well-being.
Saying what you mean and meaning what you say can be challenging, especially if you don't like conflict. But here's the thing: conflict is a part of being human. It's unavoidable. And besides, conflict is a pathway to growth, understanding, and connecting with others.
Given that you can't avoid conflict when it comes to self-care, it’s important to consider whether you would rather be in conflict with yourself or with others. Many choose to avoid conflict with others because it's easier. How often have you said to yourself:" I just went along with them to keep from hurting their feelings," or avoid an argument, or _______. That might work for a while in some situations, however, where does it leave you in personal relationships? It leaves you compromised and in conflict with yourself.
The truth is that when it comes to your health and wellbeing, it's detrimental to be in constant conflict with yourself, it creates high levels of stress and anxiety, leading to physical and mental health issues and diminished productivity.
So, how do you say what you mean and mean what you say to others?
THINK before you speak:
Truth over speculation. Speak your truth, not someone else's!
Helpful, not hurtful. Keep your words kind. Write hurtful words in your journal!
Inspire rather than discourage; it creates a ripple effect!
Never speak when you're angry. Journal instead, it prevents having to say, "I'm sorry!"
Keep it short and simple. No need for excess words, only meaningful ones!
How do you avoid conflict with yourself? It requires COURAGE:
Confidence in yourself and the words you speak.
Owning your beliefs.
Understanding you; know your likes and dislikes.
Respecting yourself; it teaches others to respect you as well.
Acknowledging accomplishments and shortcomings; both make you who you are.
Guarding yourself against those who disturb your peace.
Establishing clear boundaries.
As one who neglected self-care for years, I can't stress enough the power of the pen and a journal, and how they help me avoid internal and external conflict. When I journal, I write down my fears, rage, pain, and disappointment. Once I'm finished, I throw the paper away. There are two huge benefits to this practice: 1) it allows me to "cool off" and prevents me from having to say "I'm sorry;" 2) it positions me to say what I mean and mean what I say!
Self-care is healthcare and you’re in charge. Be grateful enough to give journaling a try. Need help getting started? I’m here with workshops and one-on-one coaching. Contact me at smallchange@myrtlerussell.com.
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