Regarding health matters, you've probably heard the comment, "You gotta die from something, so..." It's a common expression among “Naysayers’ and I say ignore them. Yes, we do all die from something, but it's not what we die from that concerns me; it's what we suffer from. None of us know how our lives will end, however, making Self-Care a daily practice can prevent or minimize suffering. But you won’t hear that come from the mouth of a Naysayer, particularly one already suffering.
Don't get me wrong, not all Naysayers’ comments are unwelcome. In the business world or situations where crucial decisions must be made, a Naysayer's skepticism and constructive criticism can be an asset to growth and development. As a wellness coach, I often play the Naysayer's role in motivating individuals to dig deep within themselves to discover answers they may have overlooked.
However, when it comes to maintaining a positive outlook on health and wellness, Naysayers, with their "stinking thinking" and constant complaints, don't make good company. Spend too much time with them, and you may find yourself thinking the way they think and behaving the way they behave. It can get tricky. They tend to run in families or the same social circles, and we all know that we get to choose our friends, but we're stuck when it comes to family.
Celebrations, holidays, deaths, and crises traditionally bring families together, and conversations about health or sickness will likely surface. They generally begin with: "How have you been doing?" Or, "You look great; tell me your secret." These casual exchanges can lead to in-depth discussions, and here's where the Naysayers show up. You know who they are:
· Without fail, they see the paper cup as half empty.
· Their favorite excuse for any health condition is "it runs in the family!"
· If you suggest trying something different, they respond with: "You think you know everything!"
· Anything "bad" that happens to them is always someone else's fault.
· They think that Self-Care is too expensive.
Most family gatherings include a food spread. I recently attended a party, and when the host invited us to help ourselves to the buffet, I skipped the meat. My decision led to a lively discussion as I sat at the table and a cousin asked why I didn't have meat on my plate. When I explained why, two other cousins chimed in, and in a matter of seconds, I was outnumbered by Naysayers. The conversation ended with one cousin’s remark: "Well, we grew up eating meat, and it didn't kill us, so I'm enjoying mine." I replied, "And I'm enjoying my vegetables." We chuckled and headed for desserts.
Gratitude has taught me how to deal with Naysayers without compromising my Self-Care and severing family ties and friendships.
Above all, I wish Naysayers well. We all do the best we can.
I learn from Naysayers: They teach me patience; how not to be; and to remain true to my purpose. They motivate me to stick to my routine and not allow their negative chatter to kill my joy.
I now celebrate my little Self-Care milestones, like the one I accomplished at the party. My cousins were right; we did grow up eating meat. I eat it now; I’m just more selective about the meat I consume. My decision to skip it was a small change I made to honor my body.
The next time you find yourself mingling with Naysayers, do it with your mind made up that nothing they say will deter you from your Self-Care practices. Remember, it's not what we die from; it's what we suffer from so don’t let that family member or friend make you sick. Instead, be the example of what it means to be well!
Need help with your Self-Care practices? I’m here to help with my "Unwrapping the Gifts of Gratitude Journaling” Workshop or one-on-one coaching. Contact me at smallchange@myrtlerussell.com. Catch up on my Self-care blogs at www.myrtlerussell.com/blog.
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